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August 18, 2017

Vape Detectors: The Nanny State Gone Wild

If you’ve been following the news, you must be aware that vaping is the biggest threat to our youth in recent years. According to hundreds of news stories — based on actual studies by real scientists! — vaping is virtually certain to addict kids to nicotine, and probably turn them into cloud-blowing, fedora-wearing hipsters.

Luckily, caring school administrators now have an innovative new surveillance tool to find vape offenders early, so they can be safely shipped to re-education camps before they pollute the schools with their degenerate fake smoking.

“The key to improving life safety and security in schools is through automated situational awareness. Principals and teachers must receive real-time information about a possible threat/situations, so they can initiate the appropriate response plan.”

So says the promotional material on the website of a company called Digital Fly. The New York outfit makes a “suite of software tools and services to help schools with bullying, cyber-bullying, suicide, self-harm, violence and other potential dangers.” Like vaping.

When the sensor reading increases suddenly, it could mean…a vaper!


“The Fly Paper Engine communicates with the various Fly Sensors to provide life safety, security and environmental notifications,” the site says. “Ensure the right information reaches the person via the right Fly Sensor so a potential situation can be addressed the right way.

“With the Fly Sense sensor array you can keep a close eye on what matters most to you and be able to react in time to prevent disaster. Receive alerts directly to your smart phone so you are aware of when a Fly Sensor detects a threat.”

The “Fly Sense sensor” is the one that detects vape junkies exhaling in the bathroom. It also detects bullying. Perhaps even by the same student.

“If someone is inside the bathroom and they vape, it will contaminate the air, our sensor will pick it up and it will alert somebody in real time, ‘Hey, there’s a problem here, your air is contaminated, somebody could be vaping, somebody could be smoking, send somebody to check it out,'” Digital Fly’s Billy Schweigert told Fox News.

You know the world is upside down when people are inventing high tech gadgets to solve problems that don’t exist

Schweigert explained that the Fly Sense device detects gas and moisture in the air. When the sensor reading increases suddenly, it could mean…a vaper! Fly Sense then sends a notification to a cell phone to someone on the beleaguered staff.

It also detects peaks in sound levels, which Schweigert says may indicate bullying in progress. Apparently bullies nowadays aren’t quiet and creepy like they were in my day. But they will be once they read about Fly Sense!

You know the world is upside down when people are inventing high tech gadgets to solve problems that don’t exist — and officials like school boards are lining up to be fleeced. We know that the vast majority of vaping high school kids are doing it as an alternative to smoking. And until people understand that harm reduction for smokers is a good thing, count on seeing more “innovation” like this.

Smokers created vaping without any help from the tobacco industry or anti-smoking crusaders, and vapers have the right to keep innovating to help themselves. My goal is to provide clear, honest information about the challenges vaping faces from lawmakers, regulators, and brokers of disinformation. I recently joined the CASAA board, but my opinions aren’t necessarily CASAA’s, and vice versa. You can find me on Twitter @whycherrywhy
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Rojeans
Rojeans
4 years ago

I’d be interested to know if farts would set the thing off. Highly likely in a toilet. Principles will be busy ?

Jeremy Mann
Staff
Jeremy Mann
4 years ago
Reply to  Rojeans

The whole thing is just ridiculous, though it is funny to think about “gas” in a bathroom!

Canada
Canada
3 years ago
Reply to  Jeremy Mann

I don’t think the issue is the vape, the issue is with other students having to inhale the remaining vapour. Not sure about the US, but in Canada ‘vape juice’ is unregulated. If you choose to vape, your choice, but when other students are forced to enhale others vape that could contain thc, nicotine, etc, it is a school issue. The students using the washrooms may have chosen not to vape, but are subjected to the vapour anyways. If you choose to vape your choice, but other who choose not to vape should also have their choices respected.

T
T
3 years ago
Reply to  Jim McDonald

Actually, Axe body spray has been banned in Middle Schools [the only demographic dumb enough to soak in it] in Nova Scotia, Canada. I have to use a washroom frequently used for vaping and sometimes I can hardly breath in there. If it’s not so addictive, then why has this public, shared resource been co-opted as a hot box? Btw, I used to be a moderate but the runaway nature of this problem invites me to rethink my position and do a bit more research.

Jeremy
Jeremy
3 years ago
Reply to  Jim McDonald

Perfume and cologne can contain allergens, yes, but as of yet, they’re not illegal to purchase or possess if you’re a minor. If you are someone in charge of running a school, you are not willing to allow illegal substances to appear on campus, full stop.

Tori
Tori
4 years ago

Big brother watching! Imagine alerts going off all over, faculty chasing clouds instead of teaching or working. ? Old school- back in 1985 when my high school had a smoking section where students & faculty were allowed to light up a ciggs on breaks. No joke! Stopped smoking 5 yrs ago thanks to vaping and haven’t looked back. This is insane. Vape is not a gateway. Some kids will start ciggs regardless of all the anti-campaigns. Vaping offers a safe alternative that can’t be denied. But we can’t have big companies losing money and government losing taxes on that pack… Read more »

Steve Peach
Steve Peach
4 years ago

I’m willing to bet some enterprising opportunist just saw a chance to sell off their inventory of cheap-ass low-tech smoke detectors – you know the ones that always used to false alarm over a bit of steam from the shower or a kettle left on… Whip up a glossy brochure combining marketing-speak with the scare-du-jour and the money rolls in.

Gruelgle31175
Gruelgle31175
4 years ago

Theyre just rebranded Nerd Alerts.

George Monroe
George Monroe
3 years ago

I wasn’t going to comment until I started reading the existing comments. Based on the existing comments all I can say is America you’re screwed!

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